I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize