At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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