shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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