Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
