awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i came on her dog
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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