It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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