if i can run in heels then i can drive
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
