She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize