Old men and throwing up are my life now.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
