You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
