Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
