Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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