did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
