the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
