and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
