I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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