There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I love having hate sex.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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