i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
