1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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