This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
