margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
