so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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