your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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