i would punch a child for taco bell
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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