In the future we'll all be gay
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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