He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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