I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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