Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
