Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
