I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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