i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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