yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
