Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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