I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
