he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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