oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
