your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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