I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
