I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
