i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
