She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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