he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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