were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
