people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
