Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize