Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
