so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
