Where did you get a picture of my penis
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
