I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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