I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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