the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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