jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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