I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
