operation harelip BJ is a go
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize