he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
