I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
