She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
