I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
