in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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