at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just pee around me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
