ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
false alarm, still single
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
