she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
