Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
