yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
