You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
